We have learned that we should know by the end of the month if we have been approved as a match for the child we are pursuing.
This discovery came with a qualification; There is the possibility that due to my past experience with depression – a part of my person that was completely, miraculously healed when I accepted Christ – the board making the decision may have difficulty approving us.
Depression is not taken lightly in Thailand, which I fully understand, accept and respect. This difference from western culture is just one of the many ways that theirs is different from ours, and I am thankful for each reminder of the diversity of God’s created people. As I say that, I completely acknowledge that I wish with all my heart this was not the aspect of our homestudy that the decision may hinge on, because if this disqualifies us from adopting this child, it will likely indicate that it is a roadblock to any adoption from Thailand.
There is a weight of guilt and the realization that the guilt exists due to lack of trust in God’s sovereignty, and is an indication of my own desire for control, and in a way, my inability to always remember that even my broken past has been redeemed by Christ.
At any rate, I do not write this to burden you, the reader, but to ask for your prayer that God’s will be done, because He alone can wash away this past blemish, and that I would be a trusting, faithful, JOYFUL follower. I ask for the faith of David – who, after his awful transgression against Uriah and the subsequent death of his child, washed his face, ate, and accepted God’s grace, difficult as that must have been – in the event that we are denied because of my past. Whatever the outcome, I choose thanksgiving and pray that our prayers are proper.
Most importantly, we are praying to witness the miraculous hand of God at work.