Well, it’s official, so, now for the real work to begin!
The following link is to a post from The Kitchen is Not My Office, and seems like it is exactly the sort of stuff we are all going to have to deal with. At the risk of sounding like a killjoy right away, I’m sharing this because maybe you will want to read this and have time to consider how bringing home our James will be a bit different from welcoming a baby through traditional means 😉
A few of the points she touches on:
Our children are not necessarily grateful to have been adopted.Please don’t feed my kids.
It is greatly appreciated if you choose your wording carefully, especially around our children.
If you’d like to offer support (meal, help with house cleaning, etc) when an adopted child joins the family, please do even if we don’t reach out and ask.
Please don’t try to get our child to like you the most.
Our adopted children had lives before they joined our family.
Sometimes adopted children need to be parented differently than biological children.
Please do not ask adopted children if they like their new parents/family.
Our children may be “delayed” when they join our family but often they just need time.
Please do not tell us how amazing we (parents) are because we have chosen to adopt.
We may discourage physical contact with our child for the first several months that they are home or until we feel like they are securely attached to us.
Even the happiest of adoptions are a result of challenging or difficult circumstances.