We are exhausted. Jason and me, yes, but also our boys. The stretching and learning and living as a family has definitely pushed back any misconceptions that the “honeymoon” will last any longer than it (debatably) already has. Patience is short, gratitude is frayed, and Jason and I are being carried/dragged along by the grace of God. BUT.
In SO many ways, things are great and better than expected. There have been so many unwarranted mercies shown to our foursome that we can’t complain for long about the hard parts without falling back on every promise kept and every miracle displayed. It is a tired, tired place to be, but it is completely worthwhile. However, a tired mind’s word dump does not make for great reading, so without further ado, words by other people that basically sum up a lot of our experience right now:
Your sweet one is grieving. This is sorrow and loss and fear and trauma; it is visceral. It is devastating. You and your spouse are haunted, unshowered, unhinged, unmoored. You stare into each other’s eyes, begging the other one to fix this: What have we done? What are we doing? What are we going to do?